She's on a roll these days...
Autumn came clean about something she did last night...true to form, she does something sneaky, and then confesses, with a sense of pride.
Autumn woke up around 3:00am, and informed me that she proceeded to close the door to my bedroom so the kitchen light wouldn't wake me... She flipped on the light, took two Cadbury eggs, and ate them. At 3:00am!!! When I questioned her about the trash, she let me know that the trash from one egg was in the bathroom garbage can, and the other was hiding under a red box top. Sure enough, that's exactly where they were.
When I asked if she had anything to say for herself, she paused and started to say she was sorry... (Really, she got as far as, "Sss....") and then quickly said, "Nothing!"
Nope, she wasn't sorry at all. And I might be a little proud that she didn't say she was. :) My child, through and through.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
At Least She Didn't Say Bacon...
Autumn wanted to watch "Ernest Goes to Jail" this morning, and the following conversation ensued:
Aut: Why is that policeman so fat?
Me: Maybe he ate too much.
Aut: Too much coffee and donuts.
A few minutes later...
Aut: Sometimes policemen have sandwiches, too.
Aut: Why is that policeman so fat?
Me: Maybe he ate too much.
Aut: Too much coffee and donuts.
A few minutes later...
Aut: Sometimes policemen have sandwiches, too.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Autumn and the Easter Eggs
She tells it like it is.
I asked Autumn where she thought Easter eggs came from.
"Well, it's just impossible for one rabbit to go to a house and to give eggs to kids, and then go to another house and remember where everything is... YOU do it! Grown-ups go to the store, they buy the Easter eggs, and then trick their kids into thinking the bunny did it. Is that right, Momo? That's right, isn't it?"
I thought about asking about Santa...but stopped myself.
I asked Autumn where she thought Easter eggs came from.
"Well, it's just impossible for one rabbit to go to a house and to give eggs to kids, and then go to another house and remember where everything is... YOU do it! Grown-ups go to the store, they buy the Easter eggs, and then trick their kids into thinking the bunny did it. Is that right, Momo? That's right, isn't it?"
I thought about asking about Santa...but stopped myself.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
On Dogs and Chocolate
Autumn opened a package of Oreos after she finished her dinner, and discovered quickly that some of them were missing. She shot me a look of disapproval and stated the obvious: "It looks like someone has already been in the cookies!"
I smiled and said, "Looks like you're right...must have been that Mac!" (Mac is our dog.)
Autumn looked at me, without missing a beat, and said, "That's nonsense. Dogs can't eat chocolate."
Busted.
I smiled and said, "Looks like you're right...must have been that Mac!" (Mac is our dog.)
Autumn looked at me, without missing a beat, and said, "That's nonsense. Dogs can't eat chocolate."
Busted.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
I Cost Money?
Autumn took notice of the trig function I have tattooed on my ribcage. It's a nerdy little story about why I have a trig function tattooed on my body, but the long and short of it is that sin2x+cos2x is 1. My husband and I both have this tattooed on us. It's cheesy, and nerdy, and I love it!
Autumn looked at it yesterday, read the tattoo. (Except she said "sin" as sin, like bad things people do...and "cos" as "cause" but hey, she's five.) She asked if that was how much I cost, like a thousand dollars.
I'm not really sure what's worse - she thinks I cost money...that a thousand dollars is what I cost...or that the actual answer (if this were about money) is one. Man, I'm cheap.
Autumn looked at it yesterday, read the tattoo. (Except she said "sin" as sin, like bad things people do...and "cos" as "cause" but hey, she's five.) She asked if that was how much I cost, like a thousand dollars.
I'm not really sure what's worse - she thinks I cost money...that a thousand dollars is what I cost...or that the actual answer (if this were about money) is one. Man, I'm cheap.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Hot Dogs and Dinosaurs...and Mommy
Autumn was being Autumn. That means I know she's going to bring the belly laughs.
She ate hot dogs for lunch, and somewhere along the way, picked up that hot dogs are also called wieners. She's a bit too innocent to realize the alternate terminology here, so she really thought that all of her singing, dancing, and talking about wieners was only hot dog-related.
The conversation that brought me to my knees went a little something like this:
Autumn: Toddy, do you know who eats wieners?
Todd: Who?
(Pause for drama...)
Autumn: MOMMY!!!
(Cue the laughing so hard I can't breathe.)
Autumn: You know who else eats wieners?
Todd: Who?
(Uh oh, where could this go?)
Autumn: DINOSAURS!!!
She ate hot dogs for lunch, and somewhere along the way, picked up that hot dogs are also called wieners. She's a bit too innocent to realize the alternate terminology here, so she really thought that all of her singing, dancing, and talking about wieners was only hot dog-related.
The conversation that brought me to my knees went a little something like this:
Autumn: Toddy, do you know who eats wieners?
Todd: Who?
(Pause for drama...)
Autumn: MOMMY!!!
(Cue the laughing so hard I can't breathe.)
Autumn: You know who else eats wieners?
Todd: Who?
(Uh oh, where could this go?)
Autumn: DINOSAURS!!!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Wait, what??
Autumn, when asked a question for the second time: "Did I stutter?"
I explained to her why it was inappropriate for a five year old to say this...even if she heard her Toddy say it. I explained it with a smirk on my face, and I was secretly proud that she sassed me correctly. :)
I explained to her why it was inappropriate for a five year old to say this...even if she heard her Toddy say it. I explained it with a smirk on my face, and I was secretly proud that she sassed me correctly. :)
Friday, February 3, 2012
Isn't she too young for this?
Autumn likes playing her dancing game on the Kinect. There's a song that sings, "Hey Mami, you sexy, hey Mami, you sexy!" We've discussed how we understand it's on the game, but please don't sing this in public - it might be slightly embarrassing for the parental units, ya know.
Autumn announced the other day that one of her classmates informed her that--and I quote--"When you sexy someone, it means you take their clothes off."
There are a few things that worry me about this statement. Counting down...
5. Why does her classmate know this? They're five and six year olds!
4. How does a kid talk about this, how does this come up in conversation?
3. Does she really think it's taking clothes off? If yes, that must mean she sexys (sexies?) every time she gets in the bathtub...
2. Is she gonna repeat this?
And my number one worry?
"Sexy" is not a verb, it's an adjective, and she used it incorrectly. :(
I wanted to correct...but that would be opening a can of worms.
Autumn announced the other day that one of her classmates informed her that--and I quote--"When you sexy someone, it means you take their clothes off."
There are a few things that worry me about this statement. Counting down...
5. Why does her classmate know this? They're five and six year olds!
4. How does a kid talk about this, how does this come up in conversation?
3. Does she really think it's taking clothes off? If yes, that must mean she sexys (sexies?) every time she gets in the bathtub...
2. Is she gonna repeat this?
And my number one worry?
"Sexy" is not a verb, it's an adjective, and she used it incorrectly. :(
I wanted to correct...but that would be opening a can of worms.
The *WHAT* Grill?!
We're taking Autumn out to dinner tonight - it's her choice! She says she wants to go to the hobachi grill. Yes. HO-bachi.
Just let that simmer for a bit...
Just let that simmer for a bit...
Friday, January 13, 2012
Autumn - Bigfoot Lover, Ghost Hunter
Imagine my shock when Autumn decided to watch Finding Bigfoot on television, instead of her usual Phineas and Ferb.
Finding Bigfoot was a show that I thought would be cool to watch when it first premiered--the unknown, the suggestion that something might exist but little proof is available. No different than ghosts, aliens and UFOs, if you ask me. After I watched a few episodes, I soon realized that this would be a show that I would continue recording...not for the coolness factor, but for the entertainment factor. These people are so absolutely convinced that every knock or stick snapping is Bigfoot himself, and ohmygoodness, that is *just* what Bigfoot would do! (After all, they *know* him!)
I digress. Back to my story. Autumn turned on Finding Bigfoot, and announced this is what she would be watching. As hokey as the show is, the mom in me said...nightmare alert, nightmare alert! I didn't want any bad dreams to come from this big hairy figment of everyone's imagination, but she insisted. She sat. She watched. And later asked me, "Hey Momo, did they ever find Bigfoot?"
She was hooked. I thought it was kind of cute. She wasn't bothered by the suggestion that such a weird thing exists, and--knock on wood--hasn't had any weird dreams.
Then, she turned on Ghost Hunters. The name nightmare alert for me. I love Ghost Hunters. I have every season on DVD. But it's not something I want my five year old to watch! If *I* don't like watching it in the dark, why would my kid want to watch it during the day?! But she insisted. And I explained to her that if she got scared or bothered, we would turn it off, and that she needed to understand that sometimes people think they hear or see different things but maybe they actually didn't see those things like they thought. She shook her head, said she understood...and proceeded to watch Ghost Hunters.
She asked plenty of questions about it. I answered as best as I could. But never once did she say, "Mommy, I'm scared!"
The open-mindedness of kids? Perhaps. I do know one thing though - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I love television like that.
Finding Bigfoot was a show that I thought would be cool to watch when it first premiered--the unknown, the suggestion that something might exist but little proof is available. No different than ghosts, aliens and UFOs, if you ask me. After I watched a few episodes, I soon realized that this would be a show that I would continue recording...not for the coolness factor, but for the entertainment factor. These people are so absolutely convinced that every knock or stick snapping is Bigfoot himself, and ohmygoodness, that is *just* what Bigfoot would do! (After all, they *know* him!)
I digress. Back to my story. Autumn turned on Finding Bigfoot, and announced this is what she would be watching. As hokey as the show is, the mom in me said...nightmare alert, nightmare alert! I didn't want any bad dreams to come from this big hairy figment of everyone's imagination, but she insisted. She sat. She watched. And later asked me, "Hey Momo, did they ever find Bigfoot?"
She was hooked. I thought it was kind of cute. She wasn't bothered by the suggestion that such a weird thing exists, and--knock on wood--hasn't had any weird dreams.
Then, she turned on Ghost Hunters. The name nightmare alert for me. I love Ghost Hunters. I have every season on DVD. But it's not something I want my five year old to watch! If *I* don't like watching it in the dark, why would my kid want to watch it during the day?! But she insisted. And I explained to her that if she got scared or bothered, we would turn it off, and that she needed to understand that sometimes people think they hear or see different things but maybe they actually didn't see those things like they thought. She shook her head, said she understood...and proceeded to watch Ghost Hunters.
She asked plenty of questions about it. I answered as best as I could. But never once did she say, "Mommy, I'm scared!"
The open-mindedness of kids? Perhaps. I do know one thing though - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I love television like that.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
A New Addition to Autumn's Lexicon...
Autumn learned a new word today...from Mike Rowe. You know, the "Dirty Jobs" dude. We happened to have "Dirty Jobs" on television before Autumn's bath, and she watched incredulously as Mike Rowe was helping deliver calves. "Ewww, what is that? Ewww why is he doing that?"
After Mike delivered one himself, the vet who coached him asked Mike what the calf was, a boy or a girl. He fumbled around and pointed at something and asked if it was boy parts. The woman replied, "That's a nutsack."
Of course. OF COURSE!!! Autumn had to repeat it. "What's a nutsack?" she asked.
Todd laughed nervously. I giggled because it's funny hearing a five year old repeat words like that. She asked again.
"What's a nutsack?"
I told her, "It's a not so nice word to describe boy private parts. If you repeat it again, I will make you write sentences."
She sat quietly for a few seconds before she groaned, "Ugggggh, I just have to say it one more time! I have to! I can't help it!"
I said, "No, you don't need to say it. If you do, you're writing sentences."
Autumn sighed, and looked at me sneakily. "Nuts," she said. "Nuts. I really want nuts."
I cut my eyes in her direction and she giggled. "A pack of nuts. Oh, I just want a pack of nuts. Nuts in packs!"
After Mike delivered one himself, the vet who coached him asked Mike what the calf was, a boy or a girl. He fumbled around and pointed at something and asked if it was boy parts. The woman replied, "That's a nutsack."
Of course. OF COURSE!!! Autumn had to repeat it. "What's a nutsack?" she asked.
Todd laughed nervously. I giggled because it's funny hearing a five year old repeat words like that. She asked again.
"What's a nutsack?"
I told her, "It's a not so nice word to describe boy private parts. If you repeat it again, I will make you write sentences."
She sat quietly for a few seconds before she groaned, "Ugggggh, I just have to say it one more time! I have to! I can't help it!"
I said, "No, you don't need to say it. If you do, you're writing sentences."
Autumn sighed, and looked at me sneakily. "Nuts," she said. "Nuts. I really want nuts."
I cut my eyes in her direction and she giggled. "A pack of nuts. Oh, I just want a pack of nuts. Nuts in packs!"
Monday, January 2, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Autumn Tells a Joke
Todd told me this one...a joke between the two of them...
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Pineapple!
Todd: Pineapple who?
Autumn: Pineapple, aren't you glad I didn't say orange again??
She's funny in her own way... And poor Todd, he played along. :) I think this is her Autumnized version of the joke, "Knock, knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I ...."
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Orange.
Todd: Orange who?
Autumn: Knock, knock!
Todd: Who's there?
Autumn: Pineapple!
Todd: Pineapple who?
Autumn: Pineapple, aren't you glad I didn't say orange again??
She's funny in her own way... And poor Todd, he played along. :) I think this is her Autumnized version of the joke, "Knock, knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I ...."
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