Autumn and the Easter Eggs

She tells it like it is.

I asked Autumn where she thought Easter eggs came from.

"Well, it's just impossible for one rabbit to go to a house and to give eggs to kids, and then go to another house and remember where everything is... YOU do it! Grown-ups go to the store, they buy the Easter eggs, and then trick their kids into thinking the bunny did it. Is that right, Momo? That's right, isn't it?"

I thought about asking about Santa...but stopped myself.

On Dogs and Chocolate

Autumn opened a package of Oreos after she finished her dinner, and discovered quickly that some of them were missing. She shot me a look of disapproval and stated the obvious: "It looks like someone has already been in the cookies!"

I smiled and said, "Looks like you're right...must have been that Mac!" (Mac is our dog.)

Autumn looked at me, without missing a beat, and said, "That's nonsense. Dogs can't eat chocolate."

Busted.

I Cost Money?

Autumn took notice of the trig function I have tattooed on my ribcage. It's a nerdy little story about why I have a trig function tattooed on my body, but the long and short of it is that sin2x+cos2x is 1. My husband and I both have this tattooed on us. It's cheesy, and nerdy, and I love it!

Autumn looked at it yesterday, read the tattoo. (Except she said "sin" as sin, like bad things people do...and "cos" as "cause" but hey, she's five.) She asked if that was how much I cost, like a thousand dollars.

I'm not really sure what's worse - she thinks I cost money...that a thousand dollars is what I cost...or that the actual answer (if this were about money) is one. Man, I'm cheap.

Hot Dogs and Dinosaurs...and Mommy

Autumn was being Autumn. That means I know she's going to bring the belly laughs.

She ate hot dogs for lunch, and somewhere along the way, picked up that hot dogs are also called wieners. She's a bit too innocent to realize the alternate terminology here, so she really thought that all of her singing, dancing, and talking about wieners was only hot dog-related.

The conversation that brought me to my knees went a little something like this:

Autumn: Toddy, do you know who eats wieners?
Todd: Who?

(Pause for drama...)

Autumn: MOMMY!!!

(Cue the laughing so hard I can't breathe.)

Autumn: You know who else eats wieners?
Todd: Who?

(Uh oh, where could this go?)

Autumn: DINOSAURS!!!

Wait, what??

Autumn, when asked a question for the second time: "Did I stutter?"

I explained to her why it was inappropriate for a five year old to say this...even if she heard her Toddy say it. I explained it with a smirk on my face, and I was secretly proud that she sassed me correctly. :)

Isn't she too young for this?

Autumn likes playing her dancing game on the Kinect. There's a song that sings, "Hey Mami, you sexy, hey Mami, you sexy!" We've discussed how we understand it's on the game, but please don't sing this in public - it might be slightly embarrassing for the parental units, ya know.

Autumn announced the other day that one of her classmates informed her that--and I quote--"When you sexy someone, it means you take their clothes off."

There are a few things that worry me about this statement. Counting down...

5. Why does her classmate know this? They're five and six year olds!
4. How does a kid talk about this, how does this come up in conversation?
3. Does she really think it's taking clothes off? If yes, that must mean she sexys (sexies?) every time she gets in the bathtub...
2. Is she gonna repeat this?

And my number one worry?

"Sexy" is not a verb, it's an adjective, and she used it incorrectly. :(

I wanted to correct...but that would be opening a can of worms.

The *WHAT* Grill?!

We're taking Autumn out to dinner tonight - it's her choice! She says she wants to go to the hobachi grill. Yes. HO-bachi.

Just let that simmer for a bit...