Thoughts from a Five Year Old...

"When everybody dies in the world, will the days still exist?"

Points to ponder...

Say What??

I ate lunch with Autumn at school today. During lunch, Autumn looked at me and said, "Beertits."

I asked her what that meant, but she said she didn't know. I don't really know, either.

Edited to add - after much questioning, we have determined that "beertits" is actually "deer ticks." I'm still not really sure why Autumn was talking about deer ticks, though.

The Fudgesicle Incident

*Who* has incidents with Fudgesicles? I'm not actually sure if the incident was more with me, or with Autumn.

On Monday, Autumn came home from school just absolutely beside herself because she got ice cream at lunch. She excitedly detailed her lunchtime for me, saying she had ice cream, it was chocolate, she didn't eat all of it, but she did eat part of her sandwich and her carrots. Wrote it off as a good lunch like any mom would, right? I was especially happy that she ate some of her normal lunch. Given her penchant for the jibber-jabbering and having leftovers at lunch because she's too busy running her mouth with her kindergarten friends, I was absolutely willing to take it!

Tuesday morning, as we're about to leave, I was packing her lunch in her backpack and found a leaking Ziploc bag full of brown liquidy nastiness.

Do you see where this is going?

It was the Fudgesicle. Remember - she didn't eat all of it? Yep, she saved it.

Let me repeat that for you - my child *saved* her *Fudgesicle* by putting it in her backpack.

It smelled rancid. Autumn learned an important lesson on Tuesday morning: we do not save ice cream, especially not in a Ziploc or backpack. Eat it, or toss the leftovers.

I'm still snickering about it. I mean, really - *who* does that?!

Thoughts on the Nativity Scene

Is it too early for our Christmas tree to be up???

That's too bad if it is - we already did it. We'll be out of town for all of Thanksgiving (normally when we would put our tree up), and we'll be out of town for the week of Christmas - I decided we might as well enjoy two months of the holiday season instead of three weeks.

Wal-Mart has all of its Christmas items out already, so I thought we'd be able to find ornament hangers there. (I didn't.) As we were walking through the Christmas section, Autumn happened upon a Nativity scene. She asked curiously, "What's that?"

I explained to her that it was called a Nativity Scene - she said it back to me, and I have to admit I was kind of glad she said it correctly. I grew up calling it an "activity scene." ... I digress.

Anyway, she wanted to know what it was. I told her that it was little statues showing Jesus' birth. I didn't get into details, just a simple explanation. I was sure it would elicit questions, but she only had one thing to say...

"He looks like a girl."

Well, then!

The Honesty of a Child

As we were leaving the grocery store, Autumn noticed a rather fluffy woman walking into the store, wearing some type of cotton-blend pants. They may or may not have been a little too short, like high-waters, but that's beside the point. I knew Autumn was watching her butt jiggle - she's five, and enjoys bathroom humor. I wouldn't expect anything less from her. As the woman walked to the entrance, Autumn stated very plainly, "It's like her pants are dancing."

I lost it.

Thankfully, we were already in the car. With the windows closed. That was a close one!

Love.

Don't lie - when you were a kid, you opened the freezer doors at the grocery store, waited for them to fog up, and then you drew stuff in them, didn't you?

I used to. And now Autumn does, too. Imagine my surprise, though, when she drew a butt...and poop. She cackled maniacally, and moved on to the next. I would have disciplined her for being so... well... inappropriate... but I was laughing, too.

I'm not sure who is immature - me or her - but that kid keeps me young. That pure laughter and joyful smile - even if it comes from a butt and poop - is so worth it.

My Hopes...Crushed...

As we were walking through the produce section at the grocery store, Autumn informed me that she knew "this Germany guy." Curious, I questioned her, and she further informed me that "this Germany guy" was Sebastian Bach.

Now, I don't know what it says about me, but my mind went *immediately* toward Sebastian Bach, Skidrow lead singer. You know, the guy with the awesomely long blond hair, tight pants...crooning "18 & Life." I was beside myself - my daughter knows GOOD music! I already knew she liked Bon Jovi, and she sings Counting Crows... I knew it, she has fabulous taste in music!

I started talking to her a little about Skidrow, and almost broke into the chorus of "18 & Life" before she crushed my hopes.

"NOT that guy, Mommy. Sebastian Bach, the composer, from Germany."

My heart sank.

Dejectedly, I said... "Oh, Johann Sebastian Bach. Right." You know, the amazing genius composer guy? Yeah, that one.

I suppose I should be happy that she's learning this stuff in school... But I really was excited that [I thought] she knew Skidrow.