The Cadbury Bandit

She's on a roll these days...

Autumn came clean about something she did last night...true to form, she does something sneaky, and then confesses, with a sense of pride. 

Autumn woke up around 3:00am, and informed me that she proceeded to close the door to my bedroom so the kitchen light wouldn't wake me...  She flipped on the light, took two Cadbury eggs, and ate them.  At 3:00am!!!  When I questioned her about the trash, she let me know that the trash from one egg was in the bathroom garbage can, and the other was hiding under a red box top.  Sure enough, that's exactly where they were.

When I asked if she had anything to say for herself, she paused and started to say she was sorry...  (Really, she got as far as, "Sss....") and then quickly said, "Nothing!" 

Nope, she wasn't sorry at all.  And I might be a little proud that she didn't say she was.  :)  My child, through and through.

At Least She Didn't Say Bacon...

Autumn wanted to watch "Ernest Goes to Jail" this morning, and the following conversation ensued:

Aut: Why is that policeman so fat?
Me: Maybe he ate too much.
Aut: Too much coffee and donuts.

A few minutes later...

Aut: Sometimes policemen have sandwiches, too.

Autumn and the Easter Eggs

She tells it like it is.

I asked Autumn where she thought Easter eggs came from.

"Well, it's just impossible for one rabbit to go to a house and to give eggs to kids, and then go to another house and remember where everything is... YOU do it! Grown-ups go to the store, they buy the Easter eggs, and then trick their kids into thinking the bunny did it. Is that right, Momo? That's right, isn't it?"

I thought about asking about Santa...but stopped myself.

On Dogs and Chocolate

Autumn opened a package of Oreos after she finished her dinner, and discovered quickly that some of them were missing. She shot me a look of disapproval and stated the obvious: "It looks like someone has already been in the cookies!"

I smiled and said, "Looks like you're right...must have been that Mac!" (Mac is our dog.)

Autumn looked at me, without missing a beat, and said, "That's nonsense. Dogs can't eat chocolate."

Busted.

I Cost Money?

Autumn took notice of the trig function I have tattooed on my ribcage. It's a nerdy little story about why I have a trig function tattooed on my body, but the long and short of it is that sin2x+cos2x is 1. My husband and I both have this tattooed on us. It's cheesy, and nerdy, and I love it!

Autumn looked at it yesterday, read the tattoo. (Except she said "sin" as sin, like bad things people do...and "cos" as "cause" but hey, she's five.) She asked if that was how much I cost, like a thousand dollars.

I'm not really sure what's worse - she thinks I cost money...that a thousand dollars is what I cost...or that the actual answer (if this were about money) is one. Man, I'm cheap.

Hot Dogs and Dinosaurs...and Mommy

Autumn was being Autumn. That means I know she's going to bring the belly laughs.

She ate hot dogs for lunch, and somewhere along the way, picked up that hot dogs are also called wieners. She's a bit too innocent to realize the alternate terminology here, so she really thought that all of her singing, dancing, and talking about wieners was only hot dog-related.

The conversation that brought me to my knees went a little something like this:

Autumn: Toddy, do you know who eats wieners?
Todd: Who?

(Pause for drama...)

Autumn: MOMMY!!!

(Cue the laughing so hard I can't breathe.)

Autumn: You know who else eats wieners?
Todd: Who?

(Uh oh, where could this go?)

Autumn: DINOSAURS!!!

Wait, what??

Autumn, when asked a question for the second time: "Did I stutter?"

I explained to her why it was inappropriate for a five year old to say this...even if she heard her Toddy say it. I explained it with a smirk on my face, and I was secretly proud that she sassed me correctly. :)